The Most Used Room...

In my house, the entrance, kitchen and bathroom are the most used rooms. These rooms are used by family, friends and random service providers. I stumble upon many service men setting up shop on my kitchen table. Oh, sure, I guess...make yourself at home? I do a quick tidy, empty the dishes and sweep around their feet as they take their lovely time coming up with a quote for my clogged toilet, pesticide treatment or window replacement.

That being said, there are a few rooms that make the short list. There are spaces that need to be tidy AND clean for comfort, confidence and peace of mind.

1. The Entrance - Maybe you have a couple ways to enter the house. Let's talk about that.

For the 18 years I spent living in my parents homes, all 5 had a side entrance that we used as a family. My mother did a nice job keeping the front door clear of boots, back packs, coats and clutter. We pretended that was the main entrance when friends came over.

It's a nice feeling to open your front door to guests, neighbors and kids' friends and not be immediately embarrassed...kicking shoes, bags and recycling to the side, all while holding back the heard to peak your head out like a bird. We'll make a plan for all your entrances, because guests or family, the entrance is the first feeling of being home and the first place to drop everything from a long day, day after day.

Like many families, there's the side entrance. I don't know why, but those 5 houses I grew up in, all had side entrances into the laundry room. I guess this was supposed to serve as mud room? Who in their right mind wants to enter their home everyday to see the laundry room. Good job, your work day is over and here is more work. The laundry is calling! No thank you! If the laundry room wasn't already a hot mess waiting to happen, now add shoes, coats and bags. Where are your shoes you ask? Umm...maybe under that pile laundry. Seriously, who ever designed these houses never did laundry.

When I was pregnant with my twins, I was given a lot of advice, as most pregnant women are. One person actually told me something helpful. Others said things like, "Oh, these years are so special. Just remember the chores can wait. The laundry will still be there, just spend time with those kiddos.

" WHAT? Sooooo, don't wash their bottles, let them ware dirty onsies, leave their spit up on the carpet with the dog hair and let them find old cheerios because the sweeping can wait?" That is completely unrealistic. Thank you for pilling on the guilt when I'm cleaning instead of holding or playing with my children. I spend time with my children thanks to a schedule, not because I don't keep a clean house. Providing a clean living environment is also just part of our job as parents. It comes with the territory.

The best advice I was given, was to focus on one place, one manageable room. One space at a time. Something you can control, accomplish and gaze upon with relief.

With a 3 year old at home, and preemie twins on giant oxygen tanks, I chose the living room. With delicate babies and RSV on a rampage, no one was coming to our house and we weren't going anywhere. I guess after the pandemic we were sure experts at quarantining. We had 20 foot tubes stretching this way and that across our house, so as long as the living room was tidy we could walk the babies from our room, to their room and to the living room. It was my place of peace with my sweet babies, when everything else felt chaotic and utterly exhausting.

My rooms of importance at the time, in order were:

1. Living room

2. Guest Bathroom

3. Kitchen

4. My room

5. Entrance

For so long, I put the entrance last. I soon realized the annoyance and agitation I would feel when I open that door. We have so much stuff with 3 kids, it can't all land here. My husband would come home from grabbing groceries and slide shoes and toys to the side as he pushed the door open. He is more chill about this than I am, but would still sigh just trying to get in the door.

The entrance immediately affects one's mood and perception. The most important people in your home, are the people who live there everyday. The entrance is their preparation ground for heading out in confidence and coming home to peace.

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10 Steps to Sustaining a Tidy Entry Way:

1. Let it go, don't touch it for one day.

2. Take a picture of it at its norm, even better - on a bad day.

3. Tidy it up and take note of what all you put away.

4. Repeat as needed to build your case or better understand what is happening

5. Now, take a picture of what you want it to look like.

6. Family Chat - As a teacher, the first thing we do in classroom is establish expectations and develop routines. What does it look like, what does it not look like?

7. Get Organized - Remove anything from the area that is not a priority item.

8. Post Expectations - Picture frame or paper showing agreed upon actions for keeping tidy

9. Practice Routine - Pretend to leave, pretend to get home.

10. Sustain -

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Guidance for Step 6 - Family Chat

As family, look at the messy pictures of the entrance on the TV screen and discuss your expectations. What does it look like? What should it look like? What should it not look like? What can we do to meet our desired expectation?

Sample Discussion Questions:

• What do you see?

• How do you want it to look and feel?

• What belongs here?

• What do we spend the most time doing here?

• What does not need to live near the entrance?

• Is there space to put the needed shoes, bags, coats, leashes, etc?

• How could we make easier storage areas? Baskets, hooks, bins, shoe racks, etc.

• Is it over crowded? Do we have too much here?

• What could we move out of this room?

• Do we need ALL of this?

Suggestions for Step 7 - Get Organized

• Remove anything from the area that is not a priority item.

• Create Labeled Bins for each family member's hats & gloves

• Add Hooks with name tags for hanging jackets, purses, backpacks or leashes

• Designate racks, baskets or space for each family members most warn shoes. Occasional shoes should be carried to their closets.

• If school papers, folders or mail collects at your front door, hang full cover bins or designated files drops. These should be sturdy & hard sided, easy places to drop papers. Opening draws hides things forever and accordion files are just one for step that is skipped when in a hurry.

• Consider a decorative serving tray for placing sunglasses only

• Keeping organized with hobbies, sports and activity gear can be included depending on your entrance. These items are best in designated areas in a garage, mud room, laundry room, or activity closet, unless small and used everyday.

According to Age for Step 8 - Post the Expectations

• For families members that can read, make a short checklist. Post it for a week in the entry way, then pull it out only when needed as a reminder.

• For young children, it's nice to post a picture or drawing of what it should look like.

Questions for Step 9 - Practice Routine

• Where should their shoes go and how should they look?

• Where does their jacket go? Somewhere easy they can reach. I put Command Hooks on the inside, lower half, of our closet door.

• Where does their backpack live? What gets unpacked?

• Practice this routine with them. Let them do it all wrong and make a mess. Trip, laugh and be silly. Talk about why this is troublesome, a tripping hazard. Then, practice with them. Next, you try following the expectations and do something wrong. Let them point out what they see.

In a classroom, everything for children is reachable. Help them help themselves. Don't make your life, and their life, harder by hanging their jackets out of reach. Children are happier when they can grab their own hat, gloves, jacket, and bag.

Tips with Step 10 - Sustaining Tidy

Stick the routine. If you notice something is slacking, what could be done to make an easier home for those types of items. We are not simply building an organized system, we are aiming to establish ease of routine, even on our busiest days.

• We are raising adults. It is our job to make room for our children and a place for their things. It is their job to make use of the places designated for them. Instead of asking, reminding, demanding, and stressing about messes, ask questions:

• Point to the picture, or list of expectations.

• Ask questions - Do shoes live on the floor? Does you jacket have a home? Do toys live at the front door? I sure hope your toys don't sneak out, maybe they should be put to bed for the night.

• Remind your children, "The more you clean up after yourself, the more time I'll have to play with you."

It can be hard to stay patient. Pretend to be an elementary teacher, reach deep into that extra bucket of patience...and teach through questions. Calm and happy children learn. Scared or embarrassed children close off and clam up.